Cerealis Bugles Smokin’ BBQ Flavor

Dipping my fingers into my first bag of Tunisian chips, I can only speculate what wonders this exotic new North African locale will bring- crisps made of couscous and baklava seasoning?  Never mind that the title ‘smokin’ bbq’ is sounding much more American in inclination right down to the Drop G, (I’ll take Drop D over Drop G any time.)

A Tunisian tagine (pot) filled with
cous-cous and veggies, recipe
here.  Sadly, they haven't made
the chip seasoning yet...

However, my hyperactive imagination might have been better served to note the ‘General Mills’ logo on the corner of the bag, and as I pop out the cornucopia-shaped treats it turns out that this is a very faithful reproduction of the original American Bugle.  Right down to the lovingly ribbed corn crisp husks, the buttery savory taste as they are pulverized in the mouth, and reveille playing over the camp loud speakers.

But wait, what about the smokin’ BBQ flavoring?  Surely they mean Smokin’ in the Biblical sense.  However, you'll have to untwist your undergarments, as though the bugles themselves are pleasantly dusted with red seasoning, the flavoring is at most a very mildly sweet undertone- these are much more Bugle-flavored than BBQ seasoned.  The flavoring does contribute very subtly to the eating experience, but if you are in any way expecting ‘BBQ’ or ‘Smokey’ flavored crisps, you are in for a serious disappointment.

The US Governmen paid 20% of its annual
budget in 1800 in tribute to the Barbary
pirates.  That's more booty than even
Sir Mixalot could handle.

Nonetheless, I have kinder words for these crisps then the Bacon 3D Bugles I tried here earlier in France, because while those were actually smoky, they were also overly salty.  By contrast, for all their serious lacking of seasoning, these Tunisian bugles preserved the buttery and unobtrusive flavoring one expects from a Bugle.  We can only assume they are keeping with the grand tradition of the Barbary pirates in ruthlessly acquiring the loot for their own tasty purposes.

Stars: 2/4

Spiciness Rating: None

Pros:

- They are 90% authentic Bugles

Cons:

- Not particularly Barbecue or Smokey

Benenuts 3-D Bugles Gout Bacon

For some reason, Bugle-type snacks seem to have carved out a substantial foot hold in the French savory-snack industry, such that I even have childhood memories from the 90s of snacking on them when making trans-national roadtrips to visit one group of relatives and family friends after another.  Bugles seem a lot less popular in the US, though I have seen them on occasion- and if you ask me, they look rather more like cornucopias than bugles, but I guess they didn’t want to connote the whole overflowing-with-fruits-and-vegetables side of things.

            I actually think bugles are a pretty decent concept as snack food, (I just love all the surface area), and I also happen to rather like bacon, so naturally the idea of pig-flavored cornucopias was going to appeal to me.  However, like my earlier review for ham-flavored chips, these Bacon Bugles suffered from playing up too much on the similarities in flavor between the basic salty snack and the salty meat they were emulating (ham, bacon, etc.) while failing to add in enough of the unique elements of each.  Where are the sweet elements or the buttery fat?  Just about all that’s added into the mix is a sort of smoky essence, but sorry, that will not do sir.

I guess maple or honey glazed bacon
simply doesn't lie in the cultural
context here. :(

            So here we have bugles that are meant to taste like salty smoky bacon, but mostly just taste like salty smoky bugle.  Bugles don’t have an awful flavor by any means, but this is another product that fails to deliver what it promises.  To add insult to injury, looking at the ingredient list I found an amazing assortment of chemicals (can you say 5’ ribonucleotoide disodique five times fast- because that’s what you’re eating.  And seriously, why 5’?  Is that ribonucleotoide really 5 feet long?), no mention of actual bacon anything, but a note that says “aromas- (contains fish.)” 

Closer to the actual 3D
Bacon Bugle experience.

Yes, that is bacon flavored fish.  Those who know me personally and have spent years ragging on my dietary deficiencies, knows that this is quite a low blow for me, as I cannot stand the taste of seafood.  (Yes, yes, I know it is only integral to the best cooking on the planet, makes you smarter, and is healthier than everything else- go feel good about yourself on the smart fish-eating bus, while I grow nauseous and dumb trying to choke down some shrimp.)

            That said, I solemnly swear that I had already come to my conclusions for the bugles before discovering the piscine nature of the contents.  Furthermore, I did in fact finish the bag after said discovery, because although it contains fish, it doesn’t actually taste like fish, just like salty bugles that don’t really taste like bacon.  Not the worst thing in the world, but still, sadly disappointing.

Stars:  1½

Spiciness Rating: none

Pros:

-          Basic Bugles flavor and crunch is there and quite adequate.  The salty flavoring isn’t actually offensive.

Cons:

-          Doesn’t taste like bacon.  Lacks the flavorings necessary to make it interesting or distinctly bacon-like.

-          FISH IN YOUR CHIPS!