Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Benenuts 3-D Bugles Gout Bacon

For some reason, Bugle-type snacks seem to have carved out a substantial foot hold in the French savory-snack industry, such that I even have childhood memories from the 90s of snacking on them when making trans-national roadtrips to visit one group of relatives and family friends after another.  Bugles seem a lot less popular in the US, though I have seen them on occasion- and if you ask me, they look rather more like cornucopias than bugles, but I guess they didn’t want to connote the whole overflowing-with-fruits-and-vegetables side of things.
            I actually think bugles are a pretty decent concept as snack food, (I just love all the surface area), and I also happen to rather like bacon, so naturally the idea of pig-flavored cornucopias was going to appeal to me.  However, like my earlier review for ham-flavored chips, these Bacon Bugles suffered from playing up too much on the similarities in flavor between the basic salty snack and the salty meat they were emulating (ham, bacon, etc.) while failing to add in enough of the unique elements of each.  Where are the sweet elements or the buttery fat?  Just about all that’s added into the mix is a sort of smoky essence, but sorry, that will not do sir.
I guess maple or honey glazed bacon
simply doesn't lie in the cultural
context here. :(
            So here we have bugles that are meant to taste like salty smoky bacon, but mostly just taste like salty smoky bugle.  Bugles don’t have an awful flavor by any means, but this is another product that fails to deliver what it promises.  To add insult to injury, looking at the ingredient list I found an amazing assortment of chemicals (can you say 5’ ribonucleotoide disodique five times fast- because that’s what you’re eating.  And seriously, why 5’?  Is that ribonucleotoide really 5 feet long?), no mention of actual bacon anything, but a note that says “aromas- (contains fish.)” 
Closer to the actual 3D
Bacon Bugle experience.
Yes, that is bacon flavored fish.  Those who know me personally and have spent years ragging on my dietary deficiencies, knows that this is quite a low blow for me, as I cannot stand the taste of seafood.  (Yes, yes, I know it is only integral to the best cooking on the planet, makes you smarter, and is healthier than everything else- go feel good about yourself on the smart fish-eating bus, while I grow nauseous and dumb trying to choke down some shrimp.)
            That said, I solemnly swear that I had already come to my conclusions for the bugles before discovering the piscine nature of the contents.  Furthermore, I did in fact finish the bag after said discovery, because although it contains fish, it doesn’t actually taste like fish, just like salty bugles that don’t really taste like bacon.  Not the worst thing in the world, but still, sadly disappointing.

Spiciness Rating: none

-          Basic Bugles flavor and crunch is there and quite adequate.  The salty flavoring isn’t actually offensive.
-          Doesn’t taste like bacon.  Lacks the flavorings necessary to make it interesting or distinctly bacon-like.
-          FISH IN YOUR CHIPS!

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