|"Stocky leapords" is a phrase you will|
only encounter when Cheetahs take
over the world. And they will. Oh yes,
|Nothing says "I'm going to slaughter you so |
hard I need to start weeping tears in advance
in my horror of the deed" then some black
lipstick and eyeliner with tear trails,
as Cheetahs and Abyssal Exalted
Rather than the hard and crunchy cheese fingers Americans have come to expect, Cheetos Pizzerini are shaped more like three dimensional hearts or lozenges, relatively large in size (about an 1” in across) and with a much softer and less dense corn-puff base. Naturally, they are coated with a a pretty red tomato-basil/pizza seasoning colored with occasional flecks of green that tastes rather like Pizza Combos. (My theory is that professional flavorists have imitated the likes of animated sitcoms, radical philosophers, and Shrek movies and become predominantly self-referential.)
|Note that these are ovoid in shape rather than flat, |
like the Rebel transports escaping from Hoth.
As a complete package it’s pretty decent- the tomato basil flavoring is reasonably tasty, even though it wasn’t quite strong enough for my liking, and the soft texture of the corn puffs invites rapid munching, though I’m afraid it’s not quite as fun as the crunchiness of real Cheetos nor as densely textured as classic Cheese Curls.
Still, Polish Cheetos are an entertaining departure from regular American products for jaded chip-eaters, and I think you can’t go wrong trying these out just to see how differently a company will spin the brand name to suit what are presumably local tastes.
Spiciness Rating: None
- Competent pizza-like flavoring
- Soft corn-puff lozenges are relatively novel and highly munchable
- Not quite as good as the original Cheetos recipe
- Stronger flavoring would have been welcome