Cape Cod Sweet & Spicy Jalapeno

           Jalapeno chips are a growing sub-genre of flavors in this day and age, and Cape Cod’s Sweet & Spicy Jalapeno is a generally solid offering.  Many Kettle-cooked chips deliver excellent texture but end up being very stingy when it comes to providing adequate flavoring- fortunately, Cape Cod’s chips generally deliver enough flavor with each bite, though they do suffer from not necessarily having of each kind of spice on every chip.

Every chip-wright should seek to make
their chips as bubbly and crunchy looking
as a Mon Calamari Star Cruiser.  Only
the space going fishmen can tell you if
it's a trap or not.

            The individual crisps are well textured rounds between 1-2 inches in diameter and relatively thick, often wrapped into pleasantly complex shapes that would do a Mon Calamari Star Cruiser proud.  They are coated with a pleasant but not over-strong sweet seasoning, with additional notes of onion, garlic, green pepper, and jalapeno.  In terms of spiciness, the chips build up to a moderate burn in the mouth over time, but are generally pretty mild individually.  For all that jalapenos are fondly renowned for their spiciness, chip manufacturers are curiously reluctant to make their jalapeno-flavored products anywhere near as hot as the real thing.  This is probably more in agreement with the average consumer’s palate, though, and the heat with these chips does manage to be adequate.

Note found inside the Matilda tank: Must
resist urge to waltz ahead on a maniacal
rampage, leaving the supporting infantry
in the dust who would otherwise save
me from all the hidden anti-tank guns.

When all of the different flavors come together on a particular chip- the sweet, the spicy, and the onion/garlicky- these chips are excellent.  Those seasonings are team awesome, a force of heroes, an unstoppable ass-kicking machine in spice-form that when working in concert, will conquer your tongue like a master of french kissing.  But therein lies the major flaw in this otherwise commendable product: the different flavors are scattered throughout the bag, and any given chip may only boast one or two of the spices out of the group.  Like a Leroy Jenkins style raiding fiasco, or the British expeditionary force defending France in 1940, the various elements too often fail to work together, instead doing their own thing on each individual chip.  Tellingly, the best chips I had were at the bottom of the bag, where the spices had accumulated and made each of the remaining morsels a complete, satisfying experience compared to the more random offering of many of the chips on the top.

The girls at Hot Chick Eatin' Spicy Chips
wrote a love letter to these crisps, as well
as offering this salacious image of the
crinkly-cut crispy delicacies.

            I still enjoyed this bag, and I do think anyone interested in Jalapeno chips should consider giving them a try, though their relative mildness in terms of spiciness may be a turn off for a dedicated spice maniac.  My eulogy for this deceased, ex-bag of chips: there were a good variety of flavors, and when they did come together, these chips more than satisfied.

Stars: 2½/4

Spiciness Rating: Moderate

Pros:

- Lovely diversity of well-realized and authentic seasonings

- Very thick and crunchy crinkly-cut kettle style chips

Cons:

- Flavorings not applied densely enough to really come together in a consistent fashion

Cape Cod Sweet Mesquite Barbeque

           I’ve written about good teases which tantalize with subtle flavors at the tip of the tongue, before finally delivering a glorious flavor load- but sadly, Cape Cod’s Mesquite Barbeque falls in the category of bad teases, which fail to follow up on what seemed to be a promising package.  They also fall in a well-populated genre of high-quality kettle cooked chips which are lacking adequate flavoring.

I must confess to a certain degree of fear in starting out my review relationship with Cape Cod Potato chips on a low note, not only because their mafia extends nation-wide, but because it happens that my significant other is a native of that perfectly charming coastal community.  Given what I know of the salty mooncussers of eastern Massachusetts, I can assure you that were I to offend them, they are not at all likely to curse me out in the wicked colorful local dialect, hoist me up with their massively muscled limbs, and feed me to the fishes.  No, not at all likely.  

Were you to spend a week in the
Chatham Squire, you would probably
have the chance to meet every resident
of Chatham, Cape Cod.

So…I have two theories as to why so many high-quality chips are shipped with weak flavoring: the first is that by using only natural ingredients, they may have limitations to how strong a flavoring they can manufacture compared to mass-market flavorings that are basically alchemical Frankenstein concoctions of great tastiness.  The second reason is that they may be cooked according to an aesthetic emphasizing the taste of the potato over that of the flavoring.  My (highly subjective) feeling on this is that tasting the potato is great, but when I buy barbecue potato chips, I expect them deliver a strong sweet and salty barbecue-taste, not a potato-flavored potato chip with a faint whiff of the grill.

Based on the improbable flavor fusions on mass market
potato chips we can only  presume their flavor R&D
department looks pretty much like this.

            And there is the problem with Cape Cod’s Mesquite barbecue chips- the flavoring is weak and doesn’t build up to a strong statement- like a crappy job, you go to work every day and dig in, only to wish you actually felt rewarded for all the effort.  It’s really too bad, because these are good quality kettle-cooked potato chips, thick and with a nice rough texture, though tending to be on the small side at around 1½ inches in diameter. 

Every wonder why they never show
images of actual mesquite on the bag?
I'll never have it said I don't make
all of your wishes come true...

One unique feature is that there is an authentic smoky tang of burnt mesquite lurking amidst the other flavors, which is awesome, but the fact that it’s not coming together with a worthwhile barbecue flavoring prevents it from fulfilling its potential.   The seasoning, or the little you can taste, is standard stuff- tomato, onion, and garlic, apparently all natural, though insufficiently strong and sweet.

            Purists that prefer a strong earthy potato flavor in their chips with only lightly applied additional flavors may enjoy these chips, especially with their mesquite-smoke tang, but anybody looking for a strong sweet barbecue flavor will do much better looking elsewhere, despite the other qualities of these chips.

Stars:  1½/4

Spiciness Rating: Very Mild

Pros:

- Nice, quality kettle cooked potato crisps

- Pleasing mesquite tang

Cons:

- Flavoring is too weak and ineffectual

- Crisps are fairly small